Just Stop Talking!

Probably not the best way to handle this situation, but I’m really not equipped to deal with it any other way. Yelling, threats, and bribery – that was my go to plan.

It all has to do with these two, specifically the older one.

Al has started a nightly ritual with the girls where they read this little story that presents a problem. The girls then have to decide what’s the best way to handle it, and you read a bible verse that goes along with it. I know, you’re picturing me as a regular James Dobson curled up in my easy chair with a pipe…not so fast.

Al won’t even let me contribute much to these discussions as I like to have some real world application and explain that there’s always some gray areas that need further exploration. She’s not impressed.

This discussion tonight somehow moved from discipline to being a sore loser, to respecting your parents, to adoption, and specifically teen adoption, and ultimately with just how in the world did that teen mom get pregnant in the first place. What the @#$##!?

I saw it coming, and tried to cut it off. Al couldn’t see how the conversation was moving. That’s because she thinks in a linear fashion. She’s not like CB or myself. Random ideas flow in and out with no connection to the Non-ADD outsider. I saw it coming, but I wasn’t quick enough.

CB then point blank asks how did the girl get pregnant. CB thought that one day, the teen just woke up that way. I was fine to leave it at that, but Al jumps in, and GOD help us, starts to answer that question.

I instantly began reading aloud from Proverbs and singing some old hymns I remembered from childhood. It worked for a second. At least MK got somewhat interested.

CB is sensing my distress and seeing the sweat rolling off my head…she presses further. Women really do have that killer instinct.

I finally told her to “Shut Up. Please, just stop talking and don’t say another word. Go brush your teeth, and if you promise not to say another word, then we’ll talk about buying that horse you’ve always wanted.”

That’s it. I’m done. No more of this devotional led deep discussion – at least not with a house full of women. This was supposed to be a peaceful meditation on the Lord’s word and look where it got me.

From now on, after dinner is going to be a study in how to play blackjack or sink a three footer for par when there’s money on the line. I just can’t deal with the other.

5 thoughts on “Just Stop Talking!”

  1. Dad & I are still laughing. I had to remind him that Billy asked how a girl could get pregnant when she wasn’t married and he was in the sixth grade. Of course Dad stuck his nose in the newspaper and left it to me to answer

  2. We have no idea how many buttons we have until our children start to ask questions, and aren’t satisfied with answers like the stork story. Your discomfort and reaction are understandable. But I have to side with Al on this. It is better to explain it to them than to act like it’s a deep dark secret. Believe me, if she explained it to them, I guarantee they would have said, “Eeeeeeeeewwww!!!! That is gross!!! I will NEVER do that!”. That’s when you whip out the video camera to capture their disgust. You then humor yourself by showing it to them when they’re teenagers. There’s almost no pleasure more sublime than embarrassing your teenage children! Your time is coming, Dad!

    1. There you go again, Jane. This blog is no place for common sense and female insight. I’m outnumbered as it is, and Al is in complete agreement with you. Y’all can have your deep discussion about practicalities and sex-ed…I’m going to stick my head back in the sand and think about unicorns and rainbows…you know, where babies really come from.

  3. Personally, I found all this quite amusing! Especially since it is you who had the daughters! :-) Personally, I am with AH. A good teacher always speaks the truthful answer!

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