Movie Rant

Al and I have been in a movie rut for a while.  We were discussing the last movie we actaully saw in a theater.  No idea what it was, but we narrowed down the when – Al was pregnant – with CB.  Little miss thing turns 5 this summer, so you do the math. 


Fast-forward to a few months ago – we were complaining about how there just aren’t any good comedies anymore.  In fact, neither one of us could name the last movie we saw that really had us laughing out loud.  Enter Knocked Up. 


Both Al and I had heard that this was the comedy of the year and everyone was saying how hysterical it was.  After the first half hour of the movie we looked at each other wearily.  Al was not laughing.  Me, I’m an easy target – I’ll laugh at almost anything, and it just wasn’t happening here.  I just kept hoping that somehow all the main characters would get some kind of terminal illness.


I’m no prude, and it takes quite a lot to offend me, but this movie was so awful it was unbelievable.  And that main chick in the movie – the blonde?  Horrible actress, and if here eyes were set any farther apart she’d run the risk of blinding herself anytime she used a Q-tip.  We wound up fast-forwarding most of the movie and got to the end, which was almost as bad as the beginning. Strike 1

Waitress – this movie looked horrible from the outset.  I thought it would be some unholy alliance of the Food Channel and Lifetime.  But, I thought, it would be a welcome change from Knocked Up, and at the very least, Al would like it.  WRONG.


I think the people in this film might have been worse than the cast of Knocked Up.  The alleged sweet little waitress was nothing but a dirty-legged tramp trying to bed down her doctor who was sleeping around on his wife.  I can’t remember if the doctor was nailing one of the other waitresses who was sleeping around on her invalid husband.  It doesn’t matter – wasn’t that essential to the plot, and did nothing to rescue this flop.  Strike 2.


At this point, I had to take over.  I brought home I Am Legend.  One of my favorite books.  Al knew that Will Smith was in it, but that was the extent of her knowledge.  Needless to say, she wasn’t thrilled.  It was nowhere near as good as the book, and I didn’t even think it was as good as the original The Omega Man with Charlton Heston.  But at the very least it was entertaining.  We’re getting closer.


The next weekend I threw in The Mist.  This was one of my favorite Stephen King short stories, and I kind of sprung it unannounced on Al.  I assured her it was nothing like I Am Legend – which it wasn’t – no zombie virus creatures here. 


She was really enjoying the first part of the film.  I think it was somewhere around the time that one of the characters went outside to investigate the Mist with a rope around his waist and was pulled back inside with only a bloody stump on the end of the rope…yeah that and the rest of the creatures kind of lost her.  But she did have to admit it was entertaining.


Enter Juno.


This film was getting tons of love.  I’m always up for indie films.  I should mention that somewhere in the middle of this marathon I rented Once. 


Once is a little indie flick filmed entirely in Dublin, Ireland on a budget of about 4 bucks.  It’s a short character study about this street performer that worked in his dad’s vacuum repair shop.  He falls for this chick that also has a passion for music.  The film is heavily influenced by their music together and how their lives are changed because of it.  I thought it was the best film I’d seen that year.  Al fell asleep.  So there you go.  Back to Juno.


As is stated earlier, Juno was getting mad love from everywhere, so we gave it a shot.  I will admit I laughed quite a bit in Juno and really enjoyed it.  Al loved it.  But one thing kept bothering me.  I heard several critics talking about how creative and original the writing was and how Juno was this amazing character.  Is it just me, or did anyone feel like they were watching a season finale of Roseanne?


Seriously, the clothes, the attitude, the blue collar setting…Darlene had this gig on Roseanne years ago.  In fact, I think the whole script was taken from an episode where Darlene was headed to art school in Chicago but somehow got pregnant with David’s child.  Should have seen this coming when they let him move into the basement.


The scene where Juno’s step mom accosts the ultrasound tech – that’s classic Roseanne; brash, obnoxious mother who deep down really loves her kids.  Maybe I’m showing a little too much Roseanne love here – but what can I say, I’m a big John Goodman fan.


I’m sure I’ve bored you all to tears, but what do you think?  Right or wrong? 


The one thing I forgot to mention in this list – No Country for Old Men. 

Un-freaking-believable.  But, then again, you’ve got Tommy Lee Jones as a West Texas Sheriff reading dialogue written by god among men Cormac McCarthy.  Can’t go wrong with that.



7 thoughts on “Movie Rant”

  1. Knocked Up was funny. Everyone thinks it was funny. What is wrong with y’all?? Maybe you just weren’t in the mood….

  2. Ok, Molly the “Movie Critic”…I enjoy your pen names:) I doubt you even stayed awake long enough to even see an entire movie in the past several years. Come on, there were a lot of WT movies produced recently and Knocked Up is one of them…haha

  3. So we’re not much of movie people. Our SS class recently had a little “name this line” game and we knew none of the lines, and had only watched 1 of the 14 movies referenced.

    ———->> boring people

    Regardless, we rented Miss Potter when my sis was here and it is very enjoyable, even if it is a chick flic. Also recommended:
    -The Prize Winner of Defiance Ohio
    -Catch Me If You Can
    -The Aviator

    And if you’re current on your films, you will know how woefully behind we are. But I suspect you might be right there with us. :)

  4. You’re killing me with the wide-eyed and “dirty-legged tramp” comments.

    And let me see if I have this straight, for future movie recommendation reference…

    vulgarity/profanity/adultery: patently offensive and boring

    violence/profanity/assassins/bloody stumps/teen pregnancy: winners, as long as they are written by famous authors or remind you of John Goodman

    Got it.

    Not that I can judge, I’ve only seen one of those movies, which I both loved and thought completely bizarre.

  5. I love it. Leigh, you nailed my entire post in two sentences. However, for future reference, I admit that I left out the most important factor: Coolness.

    The people in Waitress, Knocked Up, etc – completely uncool.

    Tommy Lee Jones – epitome of cool. As a sheriff in West Texas – reading McCarthy dialogue – doesn’t get any cooler.

    And, in my defense, and in a futile attempt to win points with an English Scholar/Prof we do have “Becoming Jane” at the house. Haven’t watched it yet…
    I will admit, at the risk of losing all credibility, that I am a huge Jane Austen fan.
    Emma Thompson jumped way up on my coolness list after Sense and Sensibility.

  6. Oh yes, the Coolness Factor explains it all much better. Apparently that is the force that makes me stop on U.S. Marshals every single time I see it on tv. And it’s on *a lot*.

    Let me know how you like Becoming Jane. I haven’t seen it; I remember being annoyed by the previews for some reason I can’t remember now, but everyone I know has enjoyed it.

  7. Try raiders of the Lost Arc. Just saw it. Great action flick. Can’t understand why it went straight to DVD.

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