I’m an old, old man. How do I know this? First off, I am now uncool. Maybe I should back up. I had the opportunity to take Miss CB to school last week. I’d never done this before, so I was getting the specifics from Al. Where to park, what to do once I got there, etc…
The ride over was fine. CB and I were singing, laughing, everything was going great. We get to the school and I walk her in to the assembly. CB’s pointing a few things out to me, and I notice she’s getting a little quieter. I’m not in the assembly for three minutes, when a couple of CB’s friends roll up. They sit next to her and start chatting, while looking at me awkwardly. CB quickly leans over and whispers, “This is the part where Daddys leave.”
I look at her, shocked, and started to protest. “But…”
“No, no,” CB continues. “This is where the Mommys and Daddys leave.” I never wanted to be one of those lingering parents. There will be plenty of time for embarrassing her when she hits her teens. I backed out quietly and made my exit.
Later that night, I had confirmation of my…oldness. I walked into the kitchen for something specific, I’m not to the point yet where I wander around aimlessly. I’m in the kitchen, and I get distracted by the laptop, Wikipedia always does that to me. After ten minutes of searching for the latest in Russian sniper technology, I’m standing in the kitchen with no idea why I’m in there. I start back to the bedroom when it hits me… Alka Seltzer. I came into the kitchen to get my Alka Selzter.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to stand at the window and yell at these kids to get of my #$#%(!* lawn.