Roadside Humor

While there are too many things about Austin that I just can’t stand (not sure if the server has enough memory to hold that rant)  I will have to admit that this town does have one thing going for it…

Funny homeless people.  I haven’t given any money to the “Will work for food crowd” in years, and I don’t know anybody that has. 

For one thing, those signs are so cliché.  There’s the old standby mentioned above, plus the traditional, “Hungry. Homeless. God Bless”  Not so here in good ole’ Travis County.

 There is one guy I pass on my way home from work everyday that well, I’ll have to admit – Today…he got me. For starters he looks like Tom Hanks at the end of Castaway.  He’s got this wicked beard, and a mass of hair that together allow you to see about an inch of his face.  And his signs – he’s a modern day Mark Twain. He’s not content to hold just one sign, he usually has a repertoire of about a dozen or more that he carries with him, which is nice.  The lights take forever around here, and being able to read a variety of signs helps take my eyes off the millionth bumper sticker in front of me with some variation of  “Dubya” is the Anti-Christ, or the ever popular sticker warning that if I don’t support my (INSERT NAME OF YOUR FAVORITE AUSTIN AREA) gay and lesbian federation’s food drive then I’m, well I’m just as bad as Dubya himself. This guy has quite the stash.  In just the past week I’ve seen     “I don’t suffer from mental illness; I’m enjoying every second of it” 

    “Stranded, homeless, and my old lady has PMS – Help me Out?”

    “The Mother Ship has left and I need some of your earth money to get me back         to my planet”

    “I just ate my dog”

    I was on my way home today and I was one of the first cars at the light when Castaway whips out the collection and makes his move. The first sign was a new one: 

            “Road Rage is Deadly.  Yell at a homeless guy.  50 cents OBO”

 That one actually made me laugh a little, not much, but he saw it was working so he immediately goes to the big guns.  The next sign was the clincher     I lost it.  I had tears in my eyes from laughing so hard.  I had to give the guy some money.  I’ve paid more at Blockbuster and not laughed that hard for an entire movie.  

Spaniard Dominance

As usual, the blog has been awash in all things pink and frilly – so I thought I’d give you a glimpse of how the men of the Havens’ household are faring.  Not so well for me actually. 

As you are aware from my earlier posts – the Ryder Cup was this past weekend, and somehow the little Euro in my household managed to sucker me in.

NEVER bet on the Ryder Cup-especially against the Europeans – and especially with someone named Seve.

They both have the same steely eyed glaze.

At least I refused to post the pics of Seve prancing around the house, the official flag of Spain in tow, after Sergio has managed to almost single-handedly destroy the US team.

A hard lesson learned…

How do you spell Kyro anyway???

Countless play dates, trips to the park, story time, berry picking dates, MOPS activities, Pre-School…such were the days of Al and CB not too long ago.

Then came Mary Kate, and then came the move to Austin – and well, literally those were all things of the past.

But even further in the past were our college days – now what does that have to do with anything?  Stick with me…

I told Al it was more than a sorority; it was a lifelong bond, a sisterhood if you will – (I hope Olive is reading this)…  No, no, Al said, but I persisted.  And what did that Theta family do for Al, so many years down the road…

 

MY FRIENDS – CB loves to say now.  All she can talk about now are her new friends “Mary and Grace” 

 

Thanks to Al’s “Grand Big”, Ging – CB can once more have story time, trips to the pool, and Chick-Fil-A lunch dates.

Most of you are probably lost, and Al’s going to kill me for writing this, but I know a few of you out there (Olive and Erin) will get a good laugh, and it might even bring a tear to GD’s eye

Gratitude Covers a Multitude of Sins…

At least that’s my position.  Al and I have always agreed that while we may not have the cutest kids (we do) or the smartest (we do) they can certainly be polite, and CB has picked up on this “thankfulness” thing quite a bit in the last month.

 

Yesterday was a prime example, after church we did a little shopping in the afternoon.  With a house full of women, the idea of a sports filled Sunday is a mere fantasy – (not that it mattered anyway – seeing as how the Ryder Cup was officially OVER an hour before we even left for church – Good Job USA…Pathetic)

 

Just a normal Sunday, but later that afternoon – CB comes up to me, gives me a big hug and says, “Thank you for taking me to church daddy.  And thank you for taking me shopping…and…and everything!!”  She always throws in a couple of “and everythings” when she’s really serious.  

 Too good to pass up…

School Days

School is officially back in session for Miss CB.  It’s a little different school setting than last year however.  Very posh private school – limited enrollment.  It’s easy to see – the pupils don’t wear smocks for their art projects – instead donning Chuy’s t-shirts

I do not know how Al does it – homeschooling CB while simultaneously keeping MK  appeased – it’s more than I’d want to tackle..

CB is genuinely excited – she shows me all her projects when I get home, and tells me whatever she learned in class for the day.

There is one little problem – it seems CB is developing quite the attitude in school – as in… “I do it my way, when I want to, however I want to do it.”   Al explains it as her father’s traits coming to the forefront.

I’ve tried to explain to CB that while the teaching staff is really cute – I’m already dreading that first parent-teacher conference.

Raising Girls

I’ll be the first to admit that I didn’t grow up around a lot of women. Sure, there was dear old Mom, but she was outnumbered by the male delegation in the house. Now, after all these years, I know how she felt. I am a foreigner in a strange land, and it looks like I’ve got a lot to learn. After all, when a 4 lb Chihuahua is the only other male you’ve got to watch your back, you learn to adapt. So, in light of my ongoing studies, here are some things I’ve learned about raising girls:

FACT#1: There are no good girl cartoons. Strawberry Shortcake, Holly Hobby, and the flat-out weird stuff they play on Noggin – none of it is any good whatsoever. Trust me, I’m a cartoon expert. GI Joe, now there was a cartoon. The evil forces of COBRA were always thwarting the safety of the world on a daily basis. No problem for the GI Joe crew. Using only sheer force and massive amounts of over the top weaponry, they simply destroyed, with massive explosions, whatever was the source of the problems for the week. I’ve yet to see anything comparable in any of CB’s cartoons.
The closest I’ve come to serious conflict was when Blueberry Muffin was hacked off about not being invited to Orange Blossom’s party. I was hoping for some real drama, but it was all worked out with a few kind words, a hug, and a sleepover at some other weird kid’s house. It probably wouldn’t have mattered any way, it looks like those houses are all made out of cookie dough, so there probably wouldn’t have been that much of an explosion in the first place.

FACT#2: Playing house means playing house. And I mean literally doing what you would do in a house. This is probably no shock to the female readers out there, but it floored me. CB has a 3-story dollhouse that is filled with furniture, kitchen appliances, and various other things you’d find in, surprise, a house. We do things like iron clothes, rearrange the kitchen furniture, do laundry, and get ready for parties for family members. I keep thinking the people in CB’s house have got to be dead anytime now as they have birthdays on a daily basis.
There’s also a baby’s room, complete with changing table and crib. CB LOVES to make the baby cry so Daddy has to change the diaper and get it back to sleep. I guess CB hasn’t realized that she has a baby sister that is performing this routine round the clock.
Only once did it get really interesting. I had CB convinced there were 4 ninjas, 2 ex CIA agents, and a hit man surrounding the house. Daddy was in the kitchen scrounging for weapons, when CB invited them all in for a party. Turned out it was the hit man’s birthday. Oh well, I shouldn’t complain, at least the ninjas had to change the baby’s diaper for the rest of the evening.

Bookworm

CB is completely, hoplelessly addicted to books.  Not a bad thing to be sure, but it’s getting to the point where I have to have her in bed by 7:00 just so I can make it out of her room by 11:00 after going through our requisite 20-30 books for the evening.

CB is now sharing the love with her newfound captive audience…

I’m just glad it’s not me who has to sit through another telling of “Meet Blueberry Muffin”

“You’re not dozing off are you?”

“Wait, wait…stop.  Didn’t we just read this one?”

Bathing Beauties

An appropriate pic for the end of summer – all my lovely ladies enjoying a last fling at the pool

Look at Miss CB – long and lean in her bikini – something we thought we’d never see.  For comparison, thought I’d post a couple of pics of CB and MK in the same bikini at the same age.

While I don’t think MK will be jumping into anything labeled “Slim Fit” for a while – It looks like Big Sis still had her beat…

An appropriate quote from my hero Lyle Lovett – “Fat Babies make me smile”

Pure Embarrassment

Through the years there have been countless reasons given as to why we have children.  However, I have it all figured out…The real reason anybody has kids is simply to put them in embarrassing situations and take pictures – ensuring leverage at a later point in the child’s life.

Al thinks this is soo cute…but I’m just glad MK can’t talk yet – I doubt I’d be able to print her response on this “family” site